Today when I woke up, there were dishes in the sink, and floors that needed a serious wash. There was laundry to do, and a stack of job applications to fill out. Instead I built a rainbow.
Every September, a new group of girls starts with my Spark unit. Sometimes they are returning, and sometimes they are brand new. We learn our promise, and what Sparks is all about. We learn the rules, and the girls learn a story. It talks about girls using coloured pebbles to build a rainbow across a river. It’s the start of a journey we make together. One hour a week we come together for fun and games – its sometimes the best hour of my week.
Today I turned my living room into a craft zone.
There is glitter so far in the cracks of my floor, I think it will shimmer forever. Tomorrow my apartment will still be a mess – and there will be more dishes added. On Monday, I will still be in need of a full-time job. But on Monday night, a group of five and six year old girls will find a cupboard full of fairies.
It will be a magical and wonderful moment.
They are little kids. Half the time they don’t remember what we did last week, let alone last year. In a few years, many won’t remember the fairy houses. By the time they reach adulthood many of them won’t even remember my name. But today I built a Rainbow. Today I not only created a spot of happy for 10 little girls, but remembered the magic of being a child, and gave myself a day of fun and many hours of excitement planning how to make the magic come alive.
At one point my fiance had to lift me off the floor, because I spent so long in a position that didn’t agree with me. I had to take breaks because my hands wouldn’t cooperate. I faced the reality of a Life With Illness. That sometimes we have limits. Sometimes we cannot go as far as we want, or as far as we used to, or as far as people expect. But we can find magic in the most unseemly of places and with it a small bit of soul healing.
Today I built a rainbow. A bridge between myself – and myself. The parts of myself that are happy and light and believe in magic. When the darkness comes and I can’t face the world, when I feel so sick and hate myself so much for being unable to keep up, I have rainbows and fairy lights and little girls who make me laugh and think that I’m wonderful and magical.
Find your rainbow. Find the fairy magic in everyday life.